Today, I am sad.
I am sad because of a rekindled friendship that has once again been lost.
I am sad that there is a lack of communication, unvoiced hurts.
I am sad that I didn’t even get the chance to talk it out, but instead am cut out of your life, as thought I wasn’t even there to begin with at all.
I am sad that it seems that our relationship didn’t mean to you, what it meant to me.
Today, I am frustrated.
I am frustrated that I let my walls down and let you back in.
I am frustrated that we are going back through the exact same thing we went through once before, and ending with the same outcome.
I am frustrated that instead of talking it out, you cut me out, without even telling me what was wrong, or what I did wrong.
Today, I am thankful.
I am thankful for my mom, who loves me unconditionally and who brings me so much joy. She is always thinking of others, before herself. She intentionally seeks out things she can do to help me, even when she has plenty on her own plate. She encourages me, tells me I am beautiful inside and out, and reminds me who God says I am on days like these. Thank you, Mom.
I am thankful for my fiance, whose constant love I can rely on. I know that he will love me, no matter what. He sees my heart, and loves me despite mistakes I make, because he understands my intentions and character. That is something so special and priceless that I truly treasure and hope to never take for granted. Thank you, Ed.
I am thankful for my best friend, who loyalty is unmatched. I can count on her to always be willing to listen, empathize, and encourage me, no matter the situation. She is kind, compassionate, and always looking for a way to lift others up. Thank you, Brianna.
I am thankful for my church family, who has helped me experience true freedom through a relationship with Christ. I am thankful for every friend, every small group, every coffee date over the last year. I can say with great confidence, that I’ve never experienced the spiritual, emotional, mental, or physical growth that I have while being a part of this community. Thank you, Queen City Church.
I am thankful for my closest friends, who pray over me, remind me of my faith, and point me back to Jesus. I have prayed for friends like these my whole life, the kind who stick with you through thick and thin. The kind who speak words of life. The kind who go on adventures and can be silly, but also have hard and real conversations. The kind who intentionally set aside time to spend together, making each other a priority. I know this is a priceless treasure, that many want so badly to have, I know that I am so blessed. Thank you, Caitlin, Allie, & Brianna (x2).
I am thankful for my brothers, who make me laugh, whether or not I want to. They are goofy beyond measure and bring more laughter into my life. They are adventurous & fun-spirited, bringing life to the rooms they go into, the life of the party. Thank you, Dawson & Dalton.
I am thankful for my distant family, who although they live far away, make sure to still be an integral part of my life. Through phone calls, packages, and holidays spent together, we make the most of our times together and I cherish every moment. Thank you Daddy, Jordan, Ruth, Memaw, & Amber.
I am thankful for all of the strong, inspiring women I have in my life. I have been blessed to see what dependable, loyal friendships look like because of my Mom and her friendships. Thank you Roberta, Rachel, and Sue for being lights in my life. You each inspire me in ways I hope you already know, but my life would not be the same without you in it, and I’m so thankful for the friends you are to my mom.
Today, I will choose to see the good in my life. I will choose to see the people in front of me, whom God has blessed me with. I will choose to focus on the people who know me, see me, and love me. I will not let one broken relationship, keep me from seeing all the good in my life. Yes, I will be sad over a relationship lost, but I will celebrate the ones still growing. I will continue to water those relationships and watch them bloom. Because not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime. So, we treasure our relationships for the times we have them, giving them all we’ve got, no matter the return, because that is what true friends do.
Today, I will remember a lesson I learned, and will continue to learn as life goes on. While God has blessed me with so many people in my life, he has blessed me even more with his amazing grace and reckless love. I am reminded today, that God is the only one who will never let me down. He is the only one who will never leave me. He is the only one who will never forsake me. When everyone else lets me down, He will be there. When everyone else is busy, as life all too often goes, God will be there waiting, with arms wide open. What a friend we have in Jesus, thank you Jesus ❤