Lately I’ve been praying a lot about my future career-wise. Being a teacher is tough and there are many days in which I question if teaching is the job for me…I go back and forth constantly. One day I love teaching and can’t even imagine not being able to encourage students and love on them. Then the very next day, I leave feeling discouraged or frustrated, knowing that I can’t possibly meet every need of every student as just one person. I think many teachers feel this way too, which makes it even harder to know if this is something God is putting on my heart to wrestle with and possibly make a career change, or if I should just accept that teaching too, like anything else, has its highs and lows.
I’ve felt discouraged too, thinking that I haven’t heard from God with regards to what He wants me to do moving forward. I feel a little lost and without direction. I have a desire to do what God wants me to do and a desire to be where He wants me to be, but lately I feel like I’m just not hearing what it is I’m supposed to do career-wise.
And so, I pray. And I pray. And I pray some more…I ask if I should be still, search, reach out, ask for advice, or do something totally different that I’m just missing and finally…an answer: Just Wait & See.
Not extremely helpful, but from that, I am reminded of a season I went through with my best friend just before she was engaged and married. We read through a book together called “Wait & See” as she was eager to be married, but not so eager to wait until she was finally proposed to! I then remember that earlier this very morning, I saw a devotional titled “Wait & See” on the Bible App, so I open up the app and start reading!
Day 1: “God tucks dreams into our hearts. We believe Him for the completion of those dreams.”
And with that simple line, I realized that my heart is hurting because I don’t feel like I am living out God’s will for my life. Or at least, not well because I don’t feel like a good teacher. I start to wonder, did I get it wrong? I thought God placed a dream on my heart to be a teacher, but I am struggling. That just breaks my heart, and so I begin to write down all of the dreams I feel that God has so gingerly and tenderly tucked into my heart, while at the same time fully knowing that my little heart is so fragile and full of big dreams that I am so passionate and excited about. So, here they are:
- To be a stay-at-home Mom who home schools and maybe has a few extra kiddos to love on to help support my family
- To have a house that Ed and I can use to really love on and minister to people in with lots of food, game nights, and small groups
- For my blog to encourage and teach others. For it to provide hope and to help people desire to know God more
- To be a light to my students. To love them, teach them, and encourage them. To make them feel loved and valued
- To mentor others and go through life with them
- To really intentionally love the people God has placed within my reach
- To start up a business where I can sell crafts and baked goods to bring “sweetness” to others
- To be in God’s will for my life. To be very close to God. To continually speak to Him and get guidance from Him on where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. To be more obedient and patient while I wait for direction
- To lead a small group that leads to closer relationships with God and each other
- To discover which church Ed and I should go to. To discover what our purpose and role is in that church
- To figure out what my purpose in life is-is it teaching? Does “teaching” look different than the boxed definition I’ve given it?
- To write a devotional for teachers to encourage them
And it was while writing all of my dreams, I felt God whisper to me…“Who says you aren’t already working on all of those things?” And slowly I realize that in some way, I am already working towards each of these dreams!
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to know every single step we need to take and to know exactly which direction we are heading, but that is not how God works. God has a plan for each and every person’s life, including my own. While all I see is me failing at teaching, God sees all the work He is doing in my heart to prepare me slowly, but surely for all the dreams he’s tucked deep inside my heart. Because I know for a fact that these dreams are from God. I feel so intensely for all of these dreams and I so badly want them all to come true…in God’s timing, not my own. And in the way that He sees these dreams coming to fruition, not in the way that I do.
So in the mean time, I will be patient. I will wait for each one to come to fruition. I will not become discouraged, but will choose to remember the dreams He has placed on my heart. I will wait & see, what God has for me. God does not ask us to have it all figured out, He asks us to take one step at a time. To be obedient and to pray so that we can know His will for our life.
So what dreams has God tucked inside of your heart? Are you too struggling to wait for His timing? Maybe you’re like me and doubting whether or not you’ve chosen the right career path? Have you taken time to pray and ask God what your next step looks like?
Sometimes it’s those small steps and small beginnings that lead us to accomplish our bigger dreams. Trust God to bring the dreams within your heart to completion in His timing, because if they’re from God, they will come to fruition. In the mean time, take each day one step at a time towards those dreams. Give yourself grace and remember that not all dreams come true over night, and that’s all part of the process. And so, we wait and see.